HEDI - Sexuality and Physical Intimacy

The need for physical and sexual intimacy during pregnancy varies greatly from person to person and from couple to couple. However, many people have less desire for sex than usual, especially during the first trimester. This is normal, especially if you're suffering from symptoms like fatigue, vomiting, or nausea during that time. Often sexual desire returns in the second trimester due to a change in hormonal balance and thanks to growing adjustment to the new life situation. In this case nothing is standing in the way of your need for a fulfilling sex life.

Is sex during pregnancy safe for the fetus?

If your pregnancy is normal, there is no reason to worry that intercourse or orgasm will harm the fetus. Nothing will happen to it if a penis enters the vagina. Not even when it happens repeatedly. You can also use a vibrator or other sex toys without problems. The important thing is that you feel good about it. This is also good for the fetus, because your feelings of happiness are transferred to the baby.

When is it better to be careful?

In some cases, however, doctors advise against sexual intercourse. For example, if vaginal bleeding occurs or if any premature rupture of membranes has occurred. This also applies in the case of a so-called placenta praevia, meaning the placenta is in an unfavourable position in your uterus. You should also be careful if you have previously had a miscarriage or if you are carrying twins or multiples and are already past the 32nd week of pregnancy. Be sure to talk to your doctor about possible risks. You should also find out early about suitable treatment options if you have a vaginal infection. The same is true if your partner has a sexually transmitted infection, such as herpes, hepatitis or HPV. Even if you're not supposed to have intercourse for medical reasons, that doesn't mean you have to give up sex altogether. You and your midwife, health care provider, or doctor can discuss other ways for you to express your desire. This can be, for example, oral sex, petting, intimate caressing or massaging.

Which positions are ok?

When it comes to choosing a position, there are no guidelines or prohibitions, just tips. Some people find the missionary position uncomfortable as the pregnancy progresses and the belly gets bigger. Maybe you'll be more comfortable on your side. Or try positions where you are on top and your partner is under you. Feel free to experiment a little and try new things. The most important thing is always that it feels good to you.

Bleeding after sex

It isn’t uncommon for vaginas to bleed slightly after sex. You don't have to worry if it happens right away. The next day, however, you should take the precaution of ruling out serious problems and visit your doctor's office. Usually, light bleeding can happen because the sexual organs are particularly well supplied with blood during pregnancy. This can make it easier for minor injuries to occur. When veins in the vagina burst, what’s known as postcoital bleeding occurs, which should stop after a short time. However, if it lasts longer than a few minutes, becomes heavier, or you did not have sex at all before the bleeding started, you need to seek urgent medical attention as soon as possible. This is especially true if you have abdominal pain in addition to bleeding. In this case, you should go to a maternity hospital as soon as possible.

Abdominal cramping

It is common for cramps to start during or after sex, especially during the third trimester. Sometimes this feels like mild contractions. In these cases, you can help your abdomen relax again by breathing calmly and deeply. However, if the cramps are severe and last longer than a few minutes, you should definitely consult a doctor.

Sexual frustration and relationship stress

Pregnancy is a special time for many couples. The anticipation of having a baby is usually high. However, stress, anxiety and worry can also occur. Will pregnancy and birth go well? Are we going to be good parents? What will the future bring? You're probably not just experiencing big physical changes. You may also find that your emotions fluctuate more than usual or that there is increased tension and frustration between you and your partner. In these cases, the best thing is just to talk to each other calmly about your feelings. This can help clear up any misunderstandings. Such conversations also help you better understand and empathize with each other's situation. When you feel sexually frustrated especially, it can help if you tell your partner about the physical and hormonal changes in your body. Then they know that a lack of desire has causes that have nothing to do with them. However, if such conversations are very difficult for you, you can seek external support, for example couples counselling. There are also free counselling centres that are particularly experienced with families that are expecting.