HEDI - Bonding: Making your child feel safe

How confidently a person goes through life depends on their earliest experiences. Therefore, it is important that the connection between the baby and the people who care for them is good from the beginning. Even while in your womb, your child can hear your voice. So you can talk to them already during pregnancy. If at all possible, you and your newborn should have extensive skin-to-skin contact right after birth. Then take plenty of time to get to know your baby well. The baby senses when you pick up on their signals and understand them. It is important to know that sometimes it is hard to stand the crying of a baby. Give yourself breaks during which to refuel yourself. These times also give other people a chance to get to know your baby and bond.

The connection begins during pregnancy

From the 23rd week of pregnancy, the baby's hearing is developed to the point where it can hear you and your partner. It will recognize your voices later and will be easier to calm down then. Enjoy talking to your child. This is how you create the foundation for a trusting connection.

Physical contact after birth

You may have heard the term ’bonding’ before. By this, psychologists mean the development of the emotional bond between a baby and its caregivers. The first minutes after delivery are considered especially important. Therefore, you can immediately place the naked baby on your naked chest after a spontaneous vaginal delivery. Then you can feel, smell and hear each other. This experience is soothing and blissful for both mother and child. But don't worry if you don’t meet for the first time until later. This may be the case if you or the baby need medical attention right after birth. The connection between mother and baby is not just formed at one particular moment. Trust develops because they are often and intimately close to each other.

The most important needs

Your baby can't meet their own basic needs. They depend on you and maybe other caregivers. They need you to give them closeness, nourishment, warmth and security. If something is missing, your baby will call for attention, usually by screaming, but also gurgling or with other sounds. Most parents adjust to their child without effort. They comfort, feed or warm their baby or take them in their arms. It's not a big deal if you don't read your baby's signals correctly once in a while. No one can be perfect. The main thing is that you are there for your child. If a baby knows that they can rely on those around them, they will be able to cope with small disturbances.

When joy is missing

Some parents find that they don’t feel the joy of having a baby. It is difficult for them to turn themselves towards the newborn. They are ashamed of these feelings and do not dare to talk about their condition. If you are affected, you should know that other people have these feelings too. Baby blues and postpartum depression are not uncommon. These symptoms can be treated. When the symptoms have improved, mother and child can reconnect. Talk to people you trust or ask your midwife for support and advice. The Early Help Network (Netzwerk der Frühen Hilfen) in your area or county can also support you and help you to get back into good contact with your baby.

Bonding: Making your child feel safe

The connection begins during pregnancy

Physical contact after birth

The most important needs

When joy is missing

Your location is missing!