Everyday Life with a Baby

The long-awaited moment has arrived. Your baby is here, and you are back home with your baby after leaving the hospital or birth centre. This is followed by the postnatal period, during which many new challenges await you. In the early days, you will first need time to get to know your baby and adjust to the new situation. It is very helpful to have people around you who can support and help you during the first days and weeks. This might be your family, your partner, or your friends. They may do the shopping while you are still in hospital or spend time with your older children while you are in the postnatal period. Midwives are an important source of professional support. They can show you how to handle your baby properly, how to breastfeed, and how to recognise your baby’s signals—whether they are hungry, tired, or want to be held. You can also receive useful advice from other parents, doctors, and counselling services such as the Netzwerk Frühe Hilfen (Early Support Network).

Even if the final weeks of pregnancy are an exciting time, it’s worth using them to prepare for your baby’s arrival. This will make the period after the birth much easier for you. Is your baby’s initial equipment complete? Where will your baby sleep? Do you already have an infant car seat for the car or a pushchair? It’s also a good idea to clarify in advance how you want to organise family life: Who will take care of childcare? Is there any financial support you can apply for? When will each of you take parental leave? How do you want to divide household tasks between you? Even if you don’t yet have answers to all of these questions before the birth, it’s helpful to start thinking about them early and to sort them out as soon as possible.

In the first days and weeks at home, you and your baby will gradually get to know each other. You give your baby attention and warmth, and you spend time cuddling together. This is often referred to as bonding. Take your time with it. Your partner and other family members, such as older children, also need time to get used to the new baby. They may be able to help by taking on tasks such as changing nappies or baby care, giving you some relief. The whole family will slowly adapt to the new daily routine. If you don’t feel ready to receive visitors yet, you shouldn’t feel under any pressure to do so—there will be time for that later. Household chores can also wait in the first few days. During the first weeks of life, your baby will sleep around 16 to 18 hours a day, although usually not for more than three to four hours at a time. When your baby wakes up at night, it’s best to keep the lights off and avoid playing with them. This helps your baby learn the difference between day and night. Make the most of the time when your baby is sleeping and allow yourself to recover from the physical demands of pregnancy and birth. It’s helpful if someone can occasionally look after the baby during these rest periods, giving you time to do something else—whether that’s taking a walk for yourself or spending time with your other children.

Even small everyday activities such as going to the toilet, having a shower, or doing the shopping can feel like a challenge during the first days at home. Do you take the baby into the bathroom with you? Is it enough to lay them down somewhere safe? Before leaving the house with your baby, you may find yourself asking: Does the baby have a clean nappy? Are they hungry? What else do I need to take with me? Faster than you might think, all of this will become routine. When you go to the bathroom, you can either take your baby with you or use a baby monitor so you can hear the sounds from the room where your baby is sleeping. When it comes to shopping, it’s best to ask your partner, family, or friends for help—whether that means someone going with you, doing the shopping for you, or looking after your baby while you’re out.

In most cases, mothers receive the most important support from their family, their partner, and their friends. Don’t hesitate to ask for help—it’s completely normal to accept support at this time. Another key source of professional support is midwives. During the first ten days after the birth, you are entitled to have a midwife visit you at home once a day. The costs are covered by your health insurance. A midwife can help you with many questions, for example with breastfeeding problems, infant care, or how to recognise whether your baby is developing well. She also supports you in recovering properly from the birth and in building a support network for everyday life. Useful advice can often also be found from other new parents. Besides friends and acquaintances, you may meet them at breastfeeding cafés, parent meet-ups, or postnatal exercise classes. There are also dedicated fathers’ groups where dads can share experiences with one another.

If you find yourself in a difficult situation or lack support from your family, partner, or friends, you can also turn to the Early Support Network (Netzwerk Frühe Hilfen). It offers free support, advice, and guidance services in your local area. You can obtain further information at your hospital, from your gynaecologist or paediatrician, or from a pregnancy counselling service near you.